Living Energy Blog

There is a bit of controversy at Harvard University about the voluntary “Kindness Pledge” the institution has asked incoming students to sign this year. Some of those in opposition have indicated that kindness conflicts with intellectual freedom and that the pledge does not have a place at Harvard.

The Kindness Bus

I can understand this perspective. Kindness is a virtue that emanates from the heart, not the mind or the intellect. In my opinion, kindness is an automatic response when we cultivate love within our hearts, within ourselves. I can see where too much thinking about kindness might get you all mixed up inside. If you are arguing a point, the rational mind might suggest tossing aside civility and going for the jugular … win your argument at all costs.

What is “kindness” anyway and why is it important? The dictionary defines kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. Wikipedia indicates that kindness is the act or the state of being kind —marked by goodness and charitable behaviour, mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions. In his book “Rhetoric,” Aristotle wrote that kindness is an emotion that is defined as being helpful to someone in need, not in exchange for anything or for an advantage to the helper. Kindness is about caring. Kindness is important because it holds the possibility of all of us creating a better world. We are all human and we are one global community. What we do to one another, we do to ourselves.

While Harvard debates kindness, the rest of us can model kindness. Act according to your heart. Do what feels right. To learn more, check out Random Acts of Kindness, One Million Acts of Kindness, Carry Out Kindness. They’ll take you to even more resources and sites.

Be kind to yourself today and be kind to everyone you meet.

Related articles

• Harvard’s ‘Kindness’ Pledge: (huffingtonpost.com)
• Harvard Pledge Values ‘Kindness’ Over Learning: Virginia Postrel (businessweek.com)

Take a time out when your energy is tangled or knotted!

Do you ever feel like your wires get crossed, knotted or all tangled up?  This happens to me periodically, particularly with technology. Yesterday I spent three times the length of time it took me to write a communication to rectify a technical snag in the program. The longer I spent trying to fix the problem, the more constricted my energy became. I knew what was happening, yet I continued down the path. I felt that if I just tried a little harder I just might “get it.” I took a break for a few hours while I went for a walk and prepared dinner before approaching it again in the evening. I made progress, which brought some relief, but there was still one piece evading me. By the time I was ready to call for help, online support was closed for the evening. I tried again … using a few different approaches. Still no luck. Late into the night I acknowledged that I would set the problem aside, get a good night’s sleep, and contact the Help Desk in the morning. I’m glad I did. The problem was fixed within half an hour.

As I was going through this process I realized that my experience was a replica of what many of us do each day. When we have a problem, we push and push, trying harder and harder. We might make some progress but often not enough to resolve it completely. As we get deeper and deeper into the issue, our energy gets all tangled up. Once it is knotted up inside it gets harder to extract ourselves and seek a different route. We experience blockages at many levels … mental confusion and frustration, physical tightness of breath and body, emotionally we may feel anxious, be short with oneself or those we encounter.  The more wrapped up or emotionally invested we are in the issue, the harder it is to solve.

There is an art to gently untangling knotted energy. The solution is to step away from the situation, create some space and allow options to present themselves. Anything that brings relief will ease such situations, open the door and allow options to present themselves. A walk usually helps me. I often get a lot of ideas and answers as I walk. Yesterday this was not the case. A good night’s sleep is next on my list. This is what helped me. I went to sleep knowing that I would get a resolution to my problem in the morning. After I finally set it aside, I knew getting the right help would take far less time than I had already invested. And that is exactly what happened.

The next time you realize that your energy is tangled, step away from the situation and create space. Withdraw your attention from the problem and change your pace. Breathe. Go for a walk. Meditate. Play. Watch a movie. Read a book. Spend time with family or friends. Do something creative. Sleep. Return with a fresh perspective and re-charged energy. Take a new approach. It will make a difference.

Related articles

• Untangled (chrisbrogan.com)
• An Untangled Moment (karmalifereadings.wordpress.com)

Cosmic Consciousness (Photo credit: Rainbow Gryphon)

Is there a link between compassion and crime? As I listened to an NPR story about the drop in violent crime for the fourth consecutive year, I wondered if this is a reflection of society becoming more community-oriented, compassionate, caring and kind. I see more and more evidence of this every day every day. Yes, there are still those who don’t have a clue and continue to operate under old paradigms. Although such voices are loud, domineering and at times unbelievable, I am convinced that this is a dwindling population. As we withdraw our focus from what feels wrong and place our energy on what feels right, each of us will experience more of the inevitable shift in consciousness. It is a sign of our times.

Look around. “Doing good” is a growing movement. You will find ample evidence that people DO care about others. In my town a Fire Fighter grows fresh produce for our local food pantry and encourages others with gardens to drop off their extra produce so that those in need can eat fresh, seasonal vegetables. Our Helping Hands organization of volunteers provides those in need with things such as support for basic necessities, back to school clothes and school supplies, holiday food baskets, items that are ready to pass along (such as bikes) and more. Some people contribute money, some contribute items, some contribute time. Some people do all three. What’s going on in your family, community, or social network that is “doing good” for others?

Daily inspiration is readily available. The Good News Network is in its 15^th year of providing good news to its internet readers. They provide inspiring stories of people doing the right thing world-wide. The Daily Good, another online resource, has been providing inspiration to its subscribers since 1998, almost as long. The mainstream media is also hopping on the bandwagon. Compared to prior years, more and more time and space is dedicated to human interest stories that encourage, stimulate interest, and inspire our spirit. These are just a few examples. I know that there are many more.

As we “do good” for others, I believe that each of us becomes more compassionate, caring and kind. Being part of the same human family, deep down we have similar needs and wants. What’s “out there” in the big, wide world is a reflection of what’s “inside,” closer to home, as reflected in our community, family, and individual consciousness. As we continue to shift and change for the better, the world around us will too.

One of the most effective ways to make a difference is to do “the work” on yourself. Consciously release your resistance to what “is”, accept things as they are, and change what you can. As you work with your own energy, the energy around you will shift as well. If you don’t believe it, just play with this concept. You will soon see evidence of your thoughts, feelings and beliefs playing out in front of you. Sometimes we are blind to this. As you tune in and observe what really shows up in your world each day, you may be delighted to realize how you, the observer, can change what is being observed. The world is one big mirror of our collective consciousness. We are all responsible for what is going on. You can begin by being more compassionate, caring and kind with yourself. Just do a little bit more every day. When you have a setback, accept it and begin again. Living your life this way can be a lot of fun and make a big difference in the world at large.

Our violent crime rate has dropped for four consecutive years. This is a good thing and each of us has contributed to it in one way or another. Maybe in 2012 we’ll see an even bigger jump. Let’s each BE the change we want to see in the world.

Related articles

• COSMIC Convergence – by Carl Calleman [topics include Elenin, pole shifts, consciousness shifts, and more]] (jhaines6.wordpress.com)
• World Peacemakers Call for 3-DAY Moratorium on All News 9/22-24 (news.yahoo.com)
• Clow’s 2011 Fall Equinox Report (deniselefay.wordpress.com)

Cover via Amazon

“My message is always the same: to cultivate and practice love, kindness, compassion and tolerance.” Dalai Lama

This timely quote from the Dalai Lama came to me this morning through HeartMath.

Have you heard the phrase “thoughts create things?” I am a firm believer that words create things too. Tune into the words all around you … your words, others’ words, the words you see and hear.  Notice the messages being conveyed. More importantly, observe how the words both reflect and amplify what is happening. Do the words give power to what we want or are they strengthening the circumstances we wish to change?

Expressing oneself authentically can be a tricky process. How do we consciously choose words that reflect good feelings when our experience is so different?  This is where the cultivation and practice of love, kindness, compassion and tolerance can make a difference. And it begins deep within oneself. One way to begin is to omit the “no’s.” One friend recently lamented: “No job, no prospects, no income.” Well this will probably continue to be the case until this person consciously shifts her energy. A way to express this with more self compassion might be: I’m ready for a job, job prospects and income! Instead of saying “I’m not …,” began to say “I AM …”

Like anything new, there’s a learning curve. Observe everyone and imitate people who communicate effectively in a loving and compassionate manner. Each day provides ample opportunities to learn from others … your family and friends, your workplace, the supermarket and retail centers, public events, community gatherings, the media. Listen with open ears and an open heart. What feels genuine? How can you empathize with others without joining them in a spiral-down conversation? What new ways can you communicate without complaining? There are lots of ways to go about this and there are some wonderful role models. Look for them and I guarantee you will find them. Learn some new approaches and become a role model for others. Two people I admire are Oprah Winfrey and Diane Sawyer. Both have a way of being truly present with people, feeling their pain and conveying their experience with kindness, love and compassion.

Like everything, words carry energy and are quite powerful. Choose your words consciously to cultivate and practice love, kindness, compassion and tolerance. Each day brings an opportunity to develop your skill and get a little better at it. Before long it will be a habit. As your habit strengthens it will become a belief. Once it is a belief, it will become imprinted in your cells and be automatically reflected in your words and actions.

Language is an amazing tool that can change the world and we can all participate. BE the change you wish to see in the world and eventually it will be reflected in your life.

Related articles

• Positive Psychology News Daily ” Wired for Empathy (positivepsychologynews.com)
• The Four Immeasurables (jasontsukahara.wordpress.com)
• The Dalai Lama (marinalovemovement.wordpress.com)

A nice explanation of deep self care within the context of transforming anger.

Times of change and uncertainty provide ripe ground for our fears and personal myths to emerge. Instead of allowing them to remain out of awareness where they are free to create chaos or employing ineffective means to manage and control them, we can choose methods that provide us a way out… a way to personal emotional freedom and inner balance. Willingness to try a different approach, patience for the learning curve and a commitment to be gentle and kind to your self will benefit you personally and professionally.

You are an individual with unique needs.  Therefore, self care is different for each of us.  When you spend time getting to know yourself, you can try many different things and learn what works best for you.  Take nutrition for example, we all need to eat a healthy and balanced diet every day.  The personal choices we make to get there can vary greatly.  Some people may feel better with high levels of protein while others feel better with more carbohydrates.  Some people enjoy eating meat while others prefer a vegetarian diet.  We also need to take different cultural backgrounds and tastes into consideration.  It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as your choices work for you.  Learn about what is available and then do what truly feels right for you.

Questions that can help you define your specific needs to help manage and reduce your stress:

Where am I too attached to outcomes?

Where and why do I care too much?

Where are my personal boundaries and responsibilities?

Are my expectations of self and other realistic?

If I change my way of approaching this situation, what is my worst fear? Is it realistic? What are healthy alternatives?

Contemplation (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you feeling the results of the harsh, cold and unyielding temperatures on your patience? The already difficult season of winter becomes even more unbearable when we are besieged by extremes of temperature, as well as continuous ice or snow storms!

 Is there a way to make peace with this season?  Is there a means to find not just respite, but maybe even an appreciation of this quieter, less active, time of the year?

Of course there are many approaches that help us tolerate and get through this time: winter sports, vacations, new hobbies and interests. These are all worthwhile and useful alternatives to enable us to withstand the long, cold, and dark season.

There are also choices in how we view this time of year that can help reduce some of the stress and frustration. We can look at winter as a teacher. We can open ourselves to learn something from this season that we are used to just enduring. Years ago we would have laughed at such an approach! Finally it occurred to us that our attitude was not working. So we thought a trial run of a different point of view couldn’t hurt.  We found that it not only didn’t hurt, it in fact helped…a lot!

The natural world has much to teach us about flowing with cycles and changes…how to be patient and go with the flow rather than fight what is.  If you allow it, winter’s journey can be a kind of spinning inward, a letting go of resistance to all that you find harsh, cold and unyielding. Within the short and cold days of winter, there is a lot of magic and beauty.  It can be a time of quiet reflection, a time to learn how to turn your attention inward. When you do this, the possibility opens to learning how to become friends with a slower, quieter, less active pace. You can welcome the respite from the over-activity of the holidays, and warmer seasons. By slowing down and going inward, you may discover that solutions come to you more easily.  You may also discover that you can get more done in less time.  You may discover that you like the new pace and improved balance.

However, there are challenges to implementing these ideas! We seem to resist slowing down. We are used to such a high level of activity, and have such high expectations for every area of our lives, that it is hard to slow down. We have all cooperated in the creation of lives so full of action that is hard to change. In spite of warnings regarding health, our own unrest and feelings of distress with the pace, we continue onward as if it is impossible to change.

You are, whether you choose to believe it or not, the change agent and meaning maker of your life. So if you are to have something new enter your existence, you will have to make room for it and put it there. You will have to align your energy with your intentions and get ready to receive everything you are asking for.  Whatever you ask for, will come.  How about beginning with the willingness to entertain some new ideas?

Nature’s wisdom follows predictable, repeatable cycles of change and growth. Winter’s time of ‘darkness’ is a resting time, a space where there is a deep process of renewal and rejuvenation happening before the grand explosion of life in spring.

Winter provides us with a similar experience. With a somewhat slower pace of life you can take the opportunity to give yourself a gift of time each day for quiet reflection. You can learn to enter into this state that nature models so gracefully. How do you do this? One way is to practice some form of meditation, deep relaxation, and contemplation or prayer as a daily routine. This may be difficult at first for many reasons. It may feel as though nothing is happening or that you are not being productive, responsible or worthwhile. As you become more familiar with spending time in this type of activity, you will gradually become aware, however, of how profoundly it can impact your life in ways that support the values you cherish.

Deep within each of us, is the need for quiet; for the kind of rest that replenishes and nourishes our bodies, minds and spirits. There is a place inside that understands and knows how to BE. However, you need to access it, it will not force its way into your life. You access it by slowing down, tuning in and listening to everything within your body and soul.  When you provide the means to travel there, your life is greatly enriched for the brief investment of time that you make.

What are the benefits of learning to spend this kind of time?

• You may find a kind of rest you did not think was possible.
• You can discover that silence will teach you things you didn’t know.
• You can develop new perspectives, new views that help you in practical ways.
• You may realize the difference between knowledge and understanding.
• You may find you are more than a constant process of doing.
• You may find that by slowing down you actually accomplish more with less effort.
• You may rediscover your creativity and simple solutions to everyday problems.
• You may find that you really enjoy and cherish this time.
• You can develop a reliable source of renewal, guidance, support and problem solving.

All relationships need attention, time and space to grow. Winter provides the possibility for a new kind of relationship—with yourself. This relationship is grown and nurtured internally. It is deceptively quiet and subtle, but like winter, it can be powerful in the gifts it brings: expansion, growth, warmth, beauty …your own personal Spring!  Go inward this winter and nurture the seeds of change and growth within you.  Contemplate what you really want in your life and make room in your heart and soul for its arrival.  Align your thoughts and your energy with your intentions on a daily basis.

Make a commitment to nurture yourself this winter.  Align your spirit with Nature’s cycles.  When spring arrives, the seeds of winter will burst forth will new life and vigor.

Regions of the brain affected by PTSD and stress. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is well known that stress is a primary force in the development of ill health. Most people are well aware of the signs of stress even if they are reluctant to do anything about them. Implementing a stress management program is a great thing to do. However, if you do this with the attitude that it is one more task to be done it can, it can be a burden that is easily given up.

An attitude that includes a:
Healthy sense of self worth
Deep inner commitment to one’s well being
Recognition of link between optimal health and happiness

… makes the time spent a joy and increases your benefit immeasurably.

Finding time to care for oneself is so often seen as less important than caring for others, especially when their need is so great and crucially important. Our culture generally does not value self care or encourage it to be at the top of the list of “things to do for success.” However, when you live in the world as a care-giver, to neglect this aspect is to sign up for trouble physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

What is ONE thing you can do today to begin to take better care of YOU?

The world will thank you!

EFT-tapping points (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Energy Excess/Deficiency

Our energy is our power.  Dissipating it or binding it in negativity renders us powerless.

 So, to cope with stress we are inclined to increase, decrease or freeze our energy. An increase or excess of energy to cope is manifested as a pattern of overcompensation for fear or weakness.  We see this in individuals who dominate situations and people. On the surface this may look like a powerful approach.  However, internally the excessive energy required to accomplish this behavioral style tends to become stagnate and create a health problem for the individual in whatever area of the body the excess has accumulated.

A decrease in energy or a freezing response is manifested in withdrawal in order to avoid conflict or challenge.  This deficient energy state results in a feeling of being unable to cope, or have what it takes to work through situations, hence retreat is chosen. Unfortunately this often has the consequence of reinforcing the original state and the person experiences even more of a sense of emptiness, restriction, and uselessness.

How can we know how we are managing this invisible inner resource?  Our bodies and habits give us clues.  Behavior is an outward manifestation of how we are managing energy but the shape our body takes as well as in how we carry ourselves also gives us evidence of how we are managing energy.  Pay attention to how you carry your body.  How do you stand, sit and walk?  Do you stand tall or do you hunch over or inward? Do you breathe deep from your belly or shallow from the top of your lungs.  Perhaps you don’t even notice.

 It may feel daunting at first to begin to see yourself and others through the eyes of energy.  It is a wonderful way to learn more though.  As we have said many times in these articles…it is all really good news.  This broader/deeper awareness gives us new and often more efficient ways to effect change.  Our energy systems are highly responsive to change and there are a wide variety of approaches that can be used for transformation.  This is truly preventative action.

One way to strengthen yourself and your own energy system is to pay attention to your breathing.  Tune in and notice how you breathe.  Do you breathe fast or slow?  Shallow or deep?  Long breaths or short?  Stop reading and take a long deep breath right now.  Breathe deeply and slowly.  Hold it for a few seconds then release it very slowly.  Do this again.  Do you notice a shift in how you feel?  This is an excellent technique to use whenever you are feeling stressed or fearful, tired or depleted.  It’s a useful technique to begin yourself into a clear and balanced state.

Three techniques that help you to release blocked or stagnant energy within your body stress are the Emotional Freedom and Healing Technique, Emotional Freedom Technique and Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT) ^SM.  These techniques use a combination of using light pressure to hold or rub specific acupressure points on your body, saying a series of statements about a topic that you are working to release and deep breathing.  These are very focused and easy ways to help you manage your energy system and improve your health.  A trained facilitator can guide you through these in person or even over the telephone.  We’ll describe these in more detail in a future column.

As always, it is important to work with methods that feel comfortable to you.  It is also essential to remember that different methods may work at different times in your process, so remain open to experimenting and allowing your intuition to guide you.  Trust your feelings –this is a crucial component to your health and personal development!