Yesterday I was visiting my Dad at his nursing home (talk about fear—there’s a big one for those who may be 
aging– but that is a topic for another day), and the travel channel was on. The program airing was about a series of places where people go and things that they do to be scared to death!
It struck me that we have a paradox going on in our culture where we purposely put ourselves in danger so we can overcome it—or watch others do so–and we use every measure we can to avoid facing our internal fears. We distract ourselves, keep frantically busy, focus on others’ failings, get caught in compulsive or addictive behaviors, or tune out in some other creative way.
I think one of the reasons we avoid our inner landscape is that we are unaware of what is truly going on inside of us and another is that even if we are open to the notion of shifting our inner schema, we may not know where to begin.
Before getting to the suggestions for changing fear from the inside out, I need to say that I think facing great danger and possible extreme bodily injury can in fact be one way that a person can attempt to overcome deep fears or insecurities. Sometimes I think it can even seem preferable to wrestle a boa or hurtle down a gigantic sand dune complete with dangerous jumps than to face our own inner demons. However, in my opinion, the side effects or repercussions from taking that tactic seem a little shaky in terms of a well thought out plan.
There is good news about facing our fears! Once we do they evaporate and open up a whole lot of space for our authentic selves to shine through–and no broken bones or viper venom to deal with—usually!
So what do you do in order to conquer fear?
1. Identify False Beliefs
Questioning how you perceive the world and challenging your beliefs can help begin the process of letting go of fear. It can feel tricky to sort out limiting beliefs because we have lived with them as truth for much of our lives.
Listening to your inner dialogue and challenging it, observing your habitual patterns and thinking more deeply about what they may be saying about you, and questioning what may be behind your reactive behaviors can all help to illuminate false beliefs. In 12 Keys for Life and Self Mastery we have a whole chapter on discovering limiting beliefs and what to do to remedy them. (shameless plug)
2. Ask yourself some new questions
What are you really afraid of?
What is the likelihood that it will happen?
How can you look at the issue differently?
What if you were free of your fear, what would you do?
3. Does staying stuck in your fear help you in some way?
Sometimes we are not willing to do what it takes or are afraid of the new responsibilities or roles that come with a deep change—it’s good to know that!
Some helpful questions:
How does this fear serve me, protect me, or help me maintain an identity?
What am I avoiding by not facing or moving through this fear?
Do I want to accept this way of being or move through the fear of change?
4. Identify the needs behind your fear
Our needs are not usually a problem. How we go about getting them met due to our unconsciousness is what trips us up. If you can be clear about what you need and seek positive means to fill those needs the negative can fall away.
5. Adopt a Perspective of Strength
Access inner states when you felt strong, able, confident and bring those feelings to the forefront of your awareness when seeking to face fear. When we are in fear our energy contracts and we feel weak and unable to cope. When we access strong internal states we can link those feelings to new situations and benefit throughout own inner resources—a deep feeling of trusting ourselves can be a side benefit here in addition to collapsing the fear.
You can also ask yourself if there are new strengths that are trying to be born through the challenge of the fear you are facing. What new ability or quality is trying to be born in you? If this were the perfect situation to point you in a new direction, what would that be?
6. Use grounding and centering techniques on a regular basis
Quieting body and mind, centering and grounding your energy goes a long way to calming yourself and being able to employ some of the other methods mentioned here. It can also open you up to higher ways of knowing that can guide you on your journey to freedom from fear.
Fear like stress is a part of life. We do have the ability to conquer it, if we reach deep, open to new information and perhaps try some new approaches. Fear creates–easily and readily given the intensity of its grip. We need to become aware and more conscious within ourselves to gain our freedom and thus be better able to create what we do want in our lives.
