Living Energy Blog

Family get togethers, office parties, neighborhood gatherings—at this time of year we have so any opportunities for encountering the relationship dynamics that exist in our lives. At other times of the year they may be less apparent, more able to recede into the background or be avoided but the holidays bring us right up against them!

 A major necessity for healthy relationships that work for all involved are good boundaries. Without them we fall into victimhood, feel out of control and overwhelmed by the demands, needs and desires of those around us.

 How can we begin to approach this issue of establishing healthy boundaries?

 1. Develop self respect, self love and self acceptance. We have all heard that we need to care for ourselves before we can to truly care for others. This must become a reality that lives within you instead of simply an idea that exists in your mind. 

2. Boundaries are not about conflict, acting against another or doing something TO them. Boundaries are about identifying what YOU will do, be, tolerate or expect in a relationship. With healthy boundaries you take charge of your self—you do not and cannot control others.

3. Bring your focus back to yourself instead of trying to be in another’s head—attempting to mind read them. Be clear on your values. Identify your beliefs about what is important and healthy for you.

4. Center and ground within your own energy field.  Work with techniques that help you to connect with your core, practicing until you can reliably contact the peace and love that naturally exists there. Develop the ability to maintain that focus, learn to live from that center instead of attempting to think or analyze your way through each relationship situation. Working in this way provides you with a more reliable means of creating healthy boundaries out of which flows the most appropriate and kind response to others.

 On Monday, December 21, 2009 we will be discussing more about boundaries and how to take charge of your energy. We will be talking about three common types of energetic interactions and how to make them positive for you and others. In addition, we will be introducing four patterns that are used to maintain control, fill up energy reserves and attempt to get needs met. As with the three types of energy flows between people, these patterns can have a positive or negative influence. It is your awareness, knowledge and ability to manage your energy that makes the difference. So don’t go into the holiday  gatherings unprotected and unprepared —learn what is going on beneath the surface of social dynamics and you can sail through the holidays energized, rested and able to truly enjoy the season!

On Monday you can click this link http://www.divatoolbox.com/diva-toolbox-radio-/hosts/2007-peg-donahue-and-karen-kallie-living-energy.html or join us from the button on our homepage. 

If you cannot join us then remember that all shows are recorded and available for download at your leisure.

In addition to our shows you will find a link to a recording of the first session of 12 Keys for Life and self Mastery—Living an Authentic Life—our holiday gift to you.

Yesterday I had an experience that I would like to share with you….it is actually something that occurs to me fairly frequently, but it has taken me some time to recognize it as a process that embodies three important components of synchronicity.

To start—yesterday I had a strong urge to go shopping —not the norm for me! I had other things that I should have been doing but the pull was very strong to pop down the street and see if I could make a dent in the long list I still had for Christmas gift buying. I did not recognize it at the time but my INTUITION was in gear!

Another thing that was going on with me was a kind of flow inside —this is a process that happens in a variety of circumstances for me, but this time I was not orchestrating it. I was merely thinking about the people I love, how much I enjoy finding and giving just the right present –one that fits who they are and brings them happiness and enjoyment. I was feeling how good that all felt and not the stress of an incomplete list.  The feeling I am describing has a kind of wholeness to it, a seamless sense of ease and being in the moment –simply feeling good…. FLOW is the word that best describes what I am speaking about here.

So when I arrived at the department store I was very much in this state of flow and not worried about what I was not getting done elsewhere or even about my list as a “challenge to be conquered” (it was a long and complex list!).

I entered the store and the synchronicity/serendipity kicked in! I think I may have been in a somewhat altered state (which can be part of this state of flow) as everything took on sharpness and a clarity that is not the norm for this place. Before I could even get a cart things started to pop out at me off the shelves and racks that were just perfect for each and every person…..not multiple things to choose from—simply the one perfect gift for each one.  I moved through the store easily, shrinking my list to nothing and arriving at the checkout counter with NO LINE and a clerk efficiently waiting to help! The whole experience took one hour!! And as I said my list was long and not without its complexity!

This experience stands out for several reasons.

1. I have had exactly the opposite feelings and experiences. When I have been tired, cranky, stressed or feeling that the shopping was a burden for whatever reason —I find nothing and leave feeling even more frustrated than when I began!
2.  I did not intentionally set out to have all go well or perfectly—I was in more of a curious state as to whether I might possibly find a couple things to whittle the list down just a bit. I had no expectations, no sense of control or struggle regarding outcomes. (Intention is certainly not bad and is often helpful but it can also set us up for stress if not engaged in properly.)
3. Three important qualities that tend to be embodied (and perhaps are even necessary) in synchronous events were present—effortlessly.

The three qualities: intuition, flow, and support of our needs.

I will let you know after Christmas if those gifts indeed are the perfect ones when they are seen by different eyes!! I would love to hear your stories of synchronicity and creating on purpose if you’d like to share them in the comments section! What do you notice when you have serendipity make an appearance in your life?

Please join us on Monday Dec.13, 2009 at 10 A.M. – when we will be airing Session One of our foundation program: 12 Keys for Life and Self Mastery.  This show will be recorded and available for download so you can listen at your leisure if you cannot join us at show time.

Click here to access the show or the archived program: http://www.divatoolbox.com/diva-toolbox-radio-/hosts/2007-peg-donahue-and-karen-kallie-living-energy.html

This session recording includes such topics as:

1. Individual and universal energy connection and conscious creation
2. A historical perspective on thought and creativity 
3. Physics of belief and the necessary link for releasing blocks

In addition there are many suggestions and tools to help you to:

• harness your energy for conscious creation
• develop your ability to manage your energy
• expand consciousness for enhanced intuition and spiritual connection

Here is a brief excerpt from the section of the program where we discuss contributions from various teachers of conscious creation throughout this century:

 In the 1990s we began to hear from William Tiller, a scientist and Stanford Professor who has been very involved in his own spiritual development since the sixties as well as conducting experiments, writing and reporting on matter, energy and the nature of consciousness. Dr. Tiller has contributed much to our understanding of the unseen forces in our universe and our relationship to it all.

 Two essential to solve the puzzle of reality formation:

1. Intentionality combined with coherence is key for creative results.

2. We need to develop our infrastructure, that is our nervous and energy systems, through inner self management methods in order to grow in consciousness and be able to adequately guide universal forces on our behalf.

Learning and using the language of energy helps you to reduce stress, let go of fear and expand your consciousnsess without the heavy lifting!

We often speak about the importance of centering and grounding energy as a key way to reduce anxiety and stress as well as a means of maintaining your energy supply. Those methods are certainly two important ways to maintain and manage your energy as you move through your day. However, we are human and are not always going to be successful at remembering to practice such techniques. 

With that in mind, we’d like to suggest another simple technique that you can use to help you become aware of how you are depleting your energy and recoup some of what you have ‘lost’. This methods also helps you to  develop greater awareness about how you are “spending” your energy so you can shift the pattern and learn to remain energized throughout your days.

Before you drift off to sleep at night take a moment to identify where you sent your attention and intention throughout the day. (Remember energy follow intention and attention-so if you do not actually sense energy just paying attention to these areas can help you do what you need to).

What thoughts about the past or future have you been thinking about? What worries or unresolved issues came up? What feelings re: certain people, places or things have been preoccupying you? What have you been fearful of, anxious about, or ruminating over? These questions help  to increase your awareness about where your energy has gone. They are not meant to begin a stream of self judgment about how you create your own stress! This is simply one more way to increase self knowledge and thereby gain more mastery over your mind and your energy. 

The next step is to take a few moments and settle down into a relaxed state of body and mind. Once you have settled, begin to imagine that you can drink the dissapated energy back into your body with the in breath. With the exhale feel as though you are ”depositing” the energy into your body’s core. (Most people will experience their core somewhere in the center of their body–let your intuition guide you as to what feels right for you.)

It may be helpful to imagine that the energy you sent out is contained in many brightly colored streamers. Imagine that you are drinking the energy back to you just like you would drink liquid through a straw.  Use whatever imagery helps put you more in touch with the feelings of this exercise.

You may be surprised at how simple it is to feel more relaxed and energized once you begin to be more in charge of your energy supplies! AND, if done at bedtime you may find that you sleep better!! Obviously if you find that this process energizes you then you may want to pick a different time of day to do it.

1. Be kind to yourself. All of the lights sparkling amidst the cold and dark nights remind us that this is a joyous time of year.  Put yourself first and do something that makes you feel good everyday.  When you take good care of yourself, you nurture your energy to take care of others.  When you do everything for others first and leave yourself for last, you can easily wear down yourself out.  Recharge and revitalize yourself everyday.  This might include enjoying a hot cup of tea, listening to some favorite music, going for a walk, taking a hot bath.  Make it fun and do something different daily.

When we take charge of our time and energy, we are rewarded with having our energy build and stay strong and resilient instead of plunging into a deficit. When your energy is more plentiful you are more apt to experience ease, joy, and happiness. You are more pleasant to be around and therefore help others to relax and let go. Invite peace!

2.  Give gifts from your heart and out of love … vs. obligation.  Everything you do contains some of your energy.  When you give a gift to someone, truly give it out of love.  Make or select something that you think would bring joy to the recipient.  Hand made presents and delicious foods are often welcome.  The more joy and energy you put into your gift, the more it will be felt by the person receiving it.

3.  Begin new traditions. If the holidays tend to get you down because of all the things you have to do, think about what you would really like to do and how you would really like to spend your time.  If you would prefer to spend your time at home and not running around from relative to relative, perhaps invite your extended family and friends ahead of time. Put your fears about what others will think aside and go with your heart.

 4. Take some time to center and ground yourself everyday.  Begin each day with a short mediation, for 5, 10 or 20 minutes.  Think about ease and flow.  Focus on whatever you have to do that day moving along effortlessly and in perfect order. Shop locally. Purchase conscious and sustainable gifts at lower than expected prices.  If you think ease and flow and expect ease and flow (vs. stress) that is what you will attract to yourself.  By putting this into practice everyday, you actually create time for yourself.  Things will flow more easily.

5.  Give thanks that whatever you desire it is already on its way to you. It is.  You just have to move aside and be ready to receive it when it arrives.  Giving thanks in advance of receiving whatever you’d like, it a wonderful technique to deliberately create whatever you desire.  Try it.  When you give thanks in advance, make sure you really believe it and really feel that it will happen. 

 6. Clear clutter to reduce stress. Clutter is anything you don’t use or love.  It brings confusion and stress with it.  When you clear things out, you are actually creating physical space to accept more into your life!  You invite more ease and flow.  Clearing clutter opens the door for new opportunities to come your way.  Make it a practice to clear out the “old” before the “new” arrives.  It’s a wonderful motivator to get family members to pitch in and help.

7.  Put some household items away when you decorate. Rather than just add holiday decorations to everything you have around your house, and squeezing them in, put some things away for a few weeks.  As you take decorations out, tuck some of your knick-knacks and perhaps even some furniture away.  It helps to quiet and calm your space.  It’s fun to have holiday decorations all around. It’s more peaceful and relaxing for you when they have some space and are not crowded in.

Remember, the same goes for your mind—you will feel more peaceful and able to enjoy the holidays if your inner space is more open and clear and not filled with stressful thoughts and emotional turmoil. Relax, breath and allow yourself to BE in each moment.

Peg, Tony and I would love to have you join us for our radio show on Monday Nov. 30 at 10 A.M. – our topic will be Cultivating Joy. The holiday season is supposed to be one of joy; however it often is not for many. On this show we will be discussing ways that you can tap into more joy regardless of the stresses in the world or in one’s personal life. If you cannot join us live the show is recorded and available for listening later.
http://www.divatoolbox.com/diva-toolbox-radio-/hosts/2007-peg-donahue-and-karen-kallie-living-energy.html

Our best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving filled with all the love and peace you can hold in your heart!

Karen, Peg and Tony