My own personal experience through this life stage (caring for elderly parents) has been long and strange. As a nurse and psychotherapist I had dealt with people facing illness and end of life issues many times. Without consciously thinking about it I had “learned” that there was a pattern–or a few patterns–that the experience tended to follow. But when it came my turn to deal with such an experience personally nothing followed the norm that I had unconsciously come to expect. I wish I had known a lot of things that I did not. I wish there had been guidance and support that would have helped me not get caught in unimportant places. I wish there had been help to point me to the growing edges of consciousness that would have smoothed out the bumps.

All those things were available in some ways but I had to search. Fortunately it is one of my coping mechanism to search! So it has actually turned into a  deeply expansive time for my entire being. I suspect this process could have been more graceful with fewer bumps if there had been a different kind of preparation and expectation, if there had been a different kind of guidance available when it got weird, surprising and unpredictable! But ultimately that is okay because it led me to a commitment to helping others learn as much as they could about this time of life –practically, emotionally and spiritually—to help them learn to dive deep to find the inner resources to strengthen and support them so that it could become a life enhancing (although often painful) experience rather than a soul deadening one.

So with all that in  mind…here is an excellent article on conversations that it is important to have when aging, serious illness and death edge more fully into your life. There are so many more details and nuances to these conversations than the ultimate one of whether someone wants to be kept alive by mechanical means. These things are difficult to address upfront but in the long run they smooth out the bumps so you can manage this journey a bit more easily.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/02/100802fa_fact_gawande

It is long but very thought provoking, eye opening, scary and hopeful if you read all the way to the last two paragraphs! Lots of food for thought in the comment section as well. What do YOU think?

http://www.realitysandwich.com/gulf_oil_spill_unfolding_prophecy

“The Call” from keith wyatt on Vimeo.

I believe this is part of the shift in consciousness that is underway for us all–realizing what is beneath all our outer seeking, needing, and wanting and making the inner changes to bring it about.

 For many years mind-body research has focused on the effect of stress and negative emotional states upon hormonal fluctuations, immune response, heart and brain function. It has become clear that stress and negative emotion lead to disorder within the heart’s rhythms, as well as within the autonomic nervous system, thereby affecting the rest of the body’s function in a negative way. The good news is that the opposite is also true— positive emotion leads to increased harmony, coherence and balance within these same systems.

Significant positive changes have been repeatedly documented in the body’s systems when techniques are used that purposefully create feelings of appreciation, gratitude and unconditional love. The voluntary triggering of these emotional states was found to increase coherence both heart rhythms and the autonomic nervous system which regulates heart rate, breathing and other vital functions. This results in a positive effect on all psychological and physical functions. In addition, it was found that people’s perception of stress shifted in a positive direction; they developed an inner resilience that is referred be as “stress hardiness”.  People became less prone to react negatively to stress and better able to actively manage and reduce unavoidable stress. That is all great news but there is more: physical performance improves, creativity is enhanced, problem solving improves and intuitive functions are enhanced.

 This is all excellent information! It does however require that we DO something to create these inner shifts within ourselves. Having a daily meditation practice that involves quieting the mind and body, slowing thoughts, developing the capacity to observe feelings without becoming attached and engaging the heart, all help to bring a kind of mindfulness to your day that allows you to release stress more easily in the moment and develop the resiliency that will bring you all the gifts of higher level functioning….more than worth the effort you put in for twenty minutes out of your day. (I keep reminding myself of this all the time as a motivator—it gets easier with time.)

 If you need help you can find a free nine minute meditation on this website to get you started. In addition all our radio programs contain a 10-15 minute meditation at the end. And of course our recorded programs that are listed in the store can also help!

 Fortunately the same techniques that are used to help discover our problem patterns can also be part of the solution. Meditation and strategies encouraging healthier patterns of breathing can help heighten awareness of mind-body patterns that have resulted in a depletion of our energy resources. At the same time these methods begin to help develop an easier inner state of being and can be used to coach the mind to create new patterns and healthier ways of thinking and feeling. The enhanced well being that comes in the practice eventually spills over into real life!

 Numerous studies have shown that these two simple techniques used on a regular basis result in ‘stress hardiness’ and improved health. So even if you have no interest in becoming knowledgeable about energy you can still benefit in very significant ways!  In addition to strengthening the nervous and immune systems, these practices also help quiet the mind and body so you can become aware of subtle energies within yourself and in your environment. They are the cornerstones for other methods that can eventually provide you with greater control over your energy.

 At first glance it can seem uncaring to focus on shifting to a higher state of consciousness when so many are suffering so much. But we may ask, ‘how does it serve another to feel as downtrodden, sad, or grief stricken as they do’? We can only help others if we work at keeping ourselves strong and healthy. It is then we can help to raise them in whatever way is appropriate or possible.

 So we need to do what we can in terms of donations of time, money or service to those in need, but we also need to be aware of our mental and emotional states. It is easy to become caught in emotional loops and fool yourself into thinking it is the same as or part of participating, caring or helping.

 We can practice living more in the present moment through becoming aware of our troublesome thoughts and emotions, clearing them, achieving more neutrality and thus being freer to cultivate higher level states of BE-ing. Centering within yourself helps to build strong energy that fosters clear thinking and honest emotion. In is only from your “nowness” you can truly be of help to others.

Nowness or the magic of the present moment, is what joins the wisdom of the past with the present.

When human beings lose their connection to nature, to heaven, to earth, then they do not know how to nurture their environment. Human beings destroy their ecology at the same time as they destroy one another.

From that perspective, healing our society goes hand in hand with healing our personal, elemental connection with the world.”

– Chogyam Trungpa, “The sacred Path of the Warrior”

How are you doing developing your state of “nowness?”

Stress has been defined as wear and tear on the body and mind as we attempt to adapt to change. We are all aware that change causes stress. We are also aware at some level of the signs that we are stressed. What we are often not aware of are the changes that go on inside us that create the wear and tear and eventually take their toll on our health and well being.

There are many ways to lessen the effects of stress on mind and body: meditation, quiet time for ourselves, learning to breathe properly, energy work and techniques such as imagery, and visualization. All are all helpful methods that can be used alone, or woven into a complete personal stress management program. These tools are also helpful when used to clarify, set and achieve goals. Each in its own way can be a really valuable aid to assist with engaging your inner resources to help motivate you to not only get started, but also to ride the waves of change more smoothly.

Another useful concept for navigating the process of change, whether it is initiated by us or from the outside, is that of support? All growth and development requires adequate support in order to be successful. What are your particular needs? Support does not mean the same thing to all people. Take some time to identify what support means to you. What works for one person may not work for another. In addition, you may need different types of support at different times in as you navigate the stages of change. It is always wise to have a variety of tools available to help you navigate change as well as your path in life. 

So begin by asking what support means to you. What types are important to you? Where can you look for that help? This includes people, places and things! How often will you need these resources? Obviously there will be things you can do for yourself, but you may also need others. Who are they? Can you ask them ahead of time to be available to ensure that what you need will be forthcoming? Do you need professional support, a group or some skill building?

Have a list of all the ways that you may be able to offer yourself support can be useful. When we are stressed our thinking mind tends to shut down and we may not be able to sort out what we need. If it is available to you in written form it can really strengthen your chances of success.

Perhaps also writing out the positives that will result from the change you are going through can help give you some confidence when the going gets rough. You may also want to write out some encouraging statements on index cards and carry them with you. A friend who has committed to be an aid can be of invaluable help….especially if they have gone through similar circumstances.

These approaches may seem self evident in a lot of ways, but they tend to be things we overlook…. maybe because of their simplicity. Nonetheless they can help make a difference in whether you just survive or thrive through transition.

Both our recorded home study programs are filled with techniques and guidance on using these types of methods as well as more specific teaching on how to use energy skills to improve your health, manage your emotions and  bring your dreams alive.

You can access these programs and a complete descripion here: http://www.livingenergyworks.com/store/